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Sometimes kindness does more harm than good.  If I care about another’s development and learning to accept responsibility then I shouldn’t pamper, spoil, mollycoddle, or indulge. Often, helping in a way that does not involve outright giving or meeting all needs is a better approach. Similarly, not explicitly instructing, but rather fostering conditions that allow independent discovery (even if that means learning from mistakes) can provide more meaningful lessons. Rather than accepting excuses or shortcomings, I should confront this person and communicate my expectations as to rectifying behavior.  In my anger over an outrage I've suffered, I will sometimes single out some person or group to blame. (Note:Scapegoating often involves discriminating by unfairly blaming others for some (real or imagined) offense. It happens at all levels: from sport fans blaming a particular player for their team's loss, to parents targeting an unwanted child, to prejudiced individuals targeting someone whose looks, race, or sexual orientation they don't like, to organized groups committing hate crimes, to nation states targeting whole populations for genocide.)

WV Theme #39A: Tough Love

WV Theme #39B: Scapegoating

--Alternate Concise Characterization with Wikipedia Entries

--Alternate Concise Characterization with Wikipedia Entries

demands unquestioning obedience often acts out of  prejudice
demanding but responsive /authoritative parenting/ mentoring often practices discrimination
reject tough love==>prefer enabling, rescuing approach often feels hatred
 values discovery learning approach to teaching comfortable with dehumanization of others

summary Wikipedia article: Tough Love

summary Wikipedia article: Scapegoating 

Numerical Characterization with TFJD code: 2121 Numerical Characterization with TFJD code: 1311
Numerical Characterization with Emotional Volatility VI index: 8 Numerical Characterization with Emotional Volatility VI index: 81

Related Words, Beliefs, Background -- 47 entries                Songs           self-test         Discussion from The Worldview Literacy Book

Questions to Test Compatibility Between This Theme or These Themes and Your Worldview

playing  card related:  these are heart worldview themes: individual <---> individual             card #39 concise description   

More to Explore -- Worldview Theme #39A: Tough Love

Mentoring (from online encyclopedia)
Inquiry Education  (from online encyclopedia)
Paternalism (from online encyclopedia)
Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom (book on tough love parenting the Chinese way, from online encyclopedia)
Tough Love, by Dianne K. Daeg de Mott (article from Encyclopedia of Childhood and Adolescence)
Tough Love Parenting--When Kids Steal 
Enabling and Rescuing vs. Tough Love  (escaping from addiction / codependency) 
Tough Love and Discipline Problems / Treatment Options
Resources for Parents of Troubled Teens (from 4 Troubled Teens website)
"Tough Love" Health Article (from Health Online website)
Tough Love--Solutions and Support for Healthy Parenting (promotes behavior modification program for parents)
Tough Love -- from the Natural Child Project (resources for caring parents)
Positive Discipline (from ERIC Digest)
Parenting Style and Its Correlates (from ERIC Digest)
Tough Love -- Is Love Ever Easy?
Tough Love for the Needy  (from Advocates for Self Government)
"Hey Parents, Leave Those Kids Alone--The Over Protected Kid" by Hanna Rosin (article from The Atlantic April 2014)
Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua (review of this 2011 book and read excerpt, from NPR)
Tough Love, by Carlin Flora (Psychology Today article about intervention to helping an addict quit)
Substance Abuse & Tough Love   (from The Washingtonian)
Tough Love and Substance Abuse (Christian perspective)
Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life, by Larry Winget
"The Case Against Over-Parenting," by Nancy Gibbs ( Time magazine cover story November 30 2009)
The Nanny State, by David Harsanyi (about the 2007 book critical of efforts to overly protect children)
Welfare Reform  (from online encyclopedia -- some would cite this as example of society embracing tough love)    
The Miracle Worker (review of movie about Anne Sullivan's "tough love" approach to teaching blind, deaf Helen Keller)
The Trouble With Tough Love, by Maia Szalavitz (Jan. 2006 Washington Post article)
The Cult That Spawned the Tough Love Industry, by Maia Szalavitz (August 2007 Mother Jones article)
Strict Upbringing Can Harm Children (2006 article reports on Swiss study) 
quotes about parenting / child raising (includes "Children Learn What They Live" by Dorothy L. Neite)

More to Explore -- Worldview Theme #39B: Scapegoating

Hate crime (from online encyclopedia)
Racism (from online encyclopedia)
White Supremacy (from online encyclopedia)
Anti-Semitism (from online encyclopedia)
Genocide (from online encyclopedia)
Anti-LGBT Rhetoric (from online encyclopedia)
Worldview Watch issue #38, posted 5/16/2014 "Connecting September 11, 2001 to Worldview Themes"
Worldview Watch issue #18: Categorizing, Name Calling, Scapegoats, Obama and Soros
CommieBlaster.com (website "Exposing Communists in US Govt")
Aryan Nations (website preaching "they must be exterminated"}
Pan Aryan National Front 
Poisoning the Web: Hatred Online (from Law Enforcement Agency Resource Network)
A Policy Maker's Guide to Hate Crimes (U.S. Dept. of Justice publication online)
Scapegoat Theory
Links: Scapegoating
Scapegoating Research & Remedies (from The Scapegoat Society)
Scapegoat    (from Answers.com)
Scapegoating -- from Political Research Associates
Scapegoating Groups (an essay)
Scapegoating and Psychodynamics
Scapegoating of Youth (from the National Youth Rights Organization)
Disliking Others Without Valid Reasons: Prejudice
"Classifying Acts of Evil--Naming the Unspeakable"  (article from The Economist April 18 2015)
"Classifying Acts of Evil--Naming the Unspeakable"  (article from The Economist April 18 2015)
"The Gay Divide: Victories for Gay Rights Provoke Backlash Elsewhere" (article from The Economist Oct 11 2014)

"Jewish leaders fear online surge of Hitler's 'Mein Kampf' fuels new wave of hate" by Joshua Miller (Jan 16 2014 story on Fox News)

Hate Mail: Anti-Semitism on Picture Postcards by Salo Aizenberg (more on this 2013 book)

The Scapegoat Generation: America's War on Adolescents by Mike A. Males (more on this 1996 book)

Task Force for International Co-operation on Holocaust Education, Remembrance, and Research
FBI Hate Crimes Report (CNN news story, Nov 23 2009)
"Neo-Nazis in North Dakota: A Racist Mob of Two" (article from The Economist December 21 2013)
"New York Police Arrest Woman for Subway 'Hate Crime' Killing"  (Dec 29 2012 BBC News item)
Hate and Extremism (as reported and monitored by the Southern Poverty Law Center)
Against Violent Extremism ("to identify and apply common solutions to the problem of violent extremism")
UU Minister on Curses and Scapegoats (Sep 2011 article by Unitarian Universalist minister Michelle Bates Deakin)
"The Dangers of Demonology"  (article on hatred of bankers in the Jan 7 2012 issue of The Economist)
A Lethal Obsession: Anti-Semitism by Robert Wisrich (Washington Post review of this 2010 book)
"Chinese Immigration and the Chinese Exclusion Acts--1866-1898" (article on US State Dept. History website)
quotes embracing anti-semitism
quotes related to prejudice
quotes related to hatred

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