song for theme #41: Struggling with A Basic Need: Self Esteem

“Me and Myself”  by Stephen P. Cook

to be sung to the tune of “Nights in White Satin” by Justin Hayward / The Moody Blues

I’m hurting and scared—I need a friend

And this war inside me, I know it must end¹

What do I care, what others may think?

Make peace with myself, without it I’ll sink

End the war [echo] the war²

Me and myself [echo] myself

End the war [echo] the war

I grew up unwanted—unloved, insecure³

Can I transcend this? I’m really not sure

Reasoned belief tells me, a good person I am

Then feelings of worthless hit with a slam

Find self esteem⁴ [echo] esteem,

Strength through self esteem [echo] esteem

Find self esteem [echo] esteem

Questioning choices, decisions I’ve made

Blaming myself, with tears I have paid

When things go wrong, or needs go unmet

Life can be like that—start over, forget

Find self esteem [echo] esteem,

Strength through self esteem [echo] esteem

Find self esteem [echo] esteem

Life’s not a crisis, I need to relax⁵

Attend to my real needs, get back on track

I know I can make it, that I can cope

Grow positive, weed negative⁶— this gives me hope

Find self esteem [echo] esteem,

Strength through self esteem [echo] esteem

Find self esteem [echo] esteem

All that I’ve been through, what I’ve overcome

I’m older and wiser, not helpless and dumb

We care and we’re sensitive, on the same team

Thank you my friend, for helping me believe

In myself [echo] myself

We’re on the same team [echo] same team

Strength through self esteem [echo] esteem

On the same team [echo] same team

Me and myself

SONG—NOTES / COMMENTS     (this song is part of the author’s personal story)

1— This semi autobiographical song is based on a 1973 poem and on long-time discussion / empathizing with / consoling others.

2—For many, introspection—the process of looking inside one’s mind, recalling events, memories, sensory experiences, etc, and

      reflecting—can be a healthy activity. But for those with harsh critical “inner voices” it can be a debilitating battle, like fighting

      a war. This song is about ending the war and making peace!       

3— Insecurity refers to lacking confidence and assuredness, feeling uncertain and unsure—perhaps even unprotected and unsafe. 

      Feelings of anxiety often accompany feelings of insecurity.   (For the record, the author grew up feeling loved!)

4—Self esteem refers to one’s self-appraisal.  It provides a measure of personal worth or worthiness.

5—Many people with low self esteem and lots of anxiety operate in a self-created state of emergency.

6—Replacing negative messages, often planted in one’s brain during a difficult childhood, with positive ones can be a difficult

      process that, even with determined conscious effort, can take years.

Comment: the struggle for self esteem è acquiring emotional baggage, but winning it provides emotional armor (defense against self and other inflicted painful stabs) as the song suggests. In winning this battle, your emotional intelligence may increase. Basically this is being aware of and in control of your own emotions, being aware of and helping nurture others’ emotions, and being able to soothe yourself when distressed.